Why?

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 14:39:16 +0000

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like shit. Just the other day I was like god has a plan. Just trust him. Now I just want to put a gun up to my head and pull the fucking trigger. I decided to take a break from Snapchat and instagram. I don’t how long it will last. I know when your dealing with shit you should always talk to someone and not disconnect from people. But I have no energy to deal with any of them, one is always horny, the other just wants attention from me. The rest of my “friends” don’t ever talk to me. The only real friend I have is Jay but I feel bad putting my problems on him. He is already dealing with so much. So I just really don’t understand why I should continue talking to people. I mean sometimes they are fun to talk to but I don’t want to explain what’s going on. They will be worried or not care at all. They will just say, I’m sorry or that sucks. Their not helpful in anyway. And let’s not forget about Logan. He just keeps on friending me on Snapchat. It’s been almost 2 weeks now. You would think he gave up by now. And honestly every time I see that he friended me again it just makes me sad. But I know it was for the best. I wish there was some way I could just leave. Leave this place. I’m tired. I just want an escape. I want to be happy but how am I supposed to be happy when I fear everyday my mom and my stepdad, Jim will start fighting again.