Tw pill/suicide

Everyday I wish I didn't stay.

Im wishing that I took more that day.

My life is painful.

Why are there so many decision,

So many problems,

So much hurt?

Ooh I wish I didn't stay.

I wish I would of laid in that bed forever.

Took a bottle or two,

To make sure I didn't wake.

I don't care who finds me there.

Just take my life away.

Just take this pain away.

I'm tried of imagining, what if I succeed that day?

I want the real thing.

I want to be free.

So just kill me.

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Lilly

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I am a young adult just walking through life and sharing my stories.

He said

I find it difficult to catch my breath, this fills me with a sense of panic. The thought of everyone in this room witnessing my distress overwhelms me, I fear their judgment and cruel remarks. As I contemplate this painful reality, I hurriedly make my way towards the exit, desperately trying to conceal my face. I repeatedly tell myself that no one saw me, as if it could somehow alleviate the situation.

Abyss

I'm surrounded by an endless void, a vast emptiness that stretches out as far as the eye can see. My gaze falls to my own body, and I'm shocked to see a knife buried deep in my chest. But despite the gruesome sight, I feel nothing. It's as if I'm watching a movie, detached from the horror unfolding before me. Blood coats my skin like a second layer, and I can't help but collapse to the ground in disbelief.

Why?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like shit. Just the other day I was like god has a plan. Just trust him. Now I just want to put a gun up to my head and pull the fucking trigger. I decided to take a break from Snapchat and instagram. I don’t how long it will last. I know when your dealing with shit you should always talk to someone and not disconnect from people. But I have no energy to deal with any of them, one is always horny, the other just wants attention from me. The rest of my “friends” don’t ever talk to me. The only real friend I have is Jay but I feel bad putting my problems on him. He is already dealing with so much. So I just really don’t understand why I should continue talking to people. I mean sometimes they are fun to talk to but I don’t want to explain what’s going on. They will be worried or not care at all. They will just say, I’m sorry or that sucks. Their not helpful in anyway. And let’s not forget about Logan. He just keeps on friending me on Snapchat. It’s been almost 2 weeks now. You would think he gave up by now. And honestly every time I see that he friended me again it just makes me sad. But I know it was for the best. I wish there was some way I could just leave. Leave this place. I’m tired. I just want an escape. I want to be happy but how am I supposed to be happy when I fear everyday my mom and my stepdad, Jim will start fighting again.

BLOODY

Why is life so hard? I wish some guy would just shoot me. Make me bleed. But what would happen? Would I beg him to let me go? Would I cry in disbelief? Would I secretly in joy the pain and my soon to come rest from this pathetic world that claims to have freedom? The blood will ruin down my body and down my legs where it falls into a pool of blood underneath me. “I’m Ready! This life is worthless. What comes next?”, I will repeat to my self over and over again. A smile slowly forming after the second shot is fried. My now dead body falls back into my chair. The warmth of life leaves me as quickly as my blood pours on to the floor and kids panic. Students scream and cry. They beg for the gunman to spare them hoping their faith will not turn into a bloodbath like mine. Students will be lost in thought scared what the gunman will do next. My lifeless body sinks lower in my chair. The girl in the desk behind me is now covered in blood. Her shoes she worked so hard to clean that morning stained with blood. She will never be the same again. She wouldn’t make it. We both know that. Her face screams but her mouth doesn’t open. Tears fall down her face as the gun man looks at her. She nods her head no one last time. They will take her away. They love people like her. Another student, sits in shock. He hides in the back of the class. he is frozen. He is a Marin but he’s never seen something so cold and dark. The gunman still stands in the front of the class. He is now realizing what he has did. A tear falls down his cheek. He knows it’s to late. We all know it’s too late. So what’s the point? What was the point of all this?

should I continue this?

I step out of my car. The sun towers over me. The light hurts my eyes. I look over to see a grey building. I remember this place from when I was younger. When I stop my day dreaming, I walk over to the building. I open one of the four boors. As I walk the smell of fresh hot popcorn hits my faces. “Hello, can I help you?” A lady says. She is sitting on the counter beside the popcorn machine. “I’m looking for someone. Her name is Sunny.” I replied to her. “She’s in the gym. Just in there.” She point to a boor. “Ok thank you.” I say before walking to the boors. Inside I see a group of guys playing basketball and 3 groups of people on different sides of the gym. One of all girls, one with all guys and one with kids with both girls and guys. “Mia!” A female voice yells. I look over to my right of the group of girls, there stands Sunny, my childhood best friend who I haven’t seen in years. She has her hands in the air waving me down like when we were kids. Three girls stand beside her, “Mia, you look so different!” One of the girls say. Her voice sounded very familiar but I don’t say anything. “Do you remember Amelia?” Sunny asked “of course!” I answer.

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