Why is life so hard? I wish some guy would just shoot me. Make me bleed. But what would happen? Would I beg him to let me go? Would I cry in disbelief? Would I secretly in joy the pain and my soon to come rest from this pathetic world that claims to have freedom? The blood will ruin down my body and down my legs where it falls into a pool of blood underneath me. “I’m Ready! This life is worthless. What comes next?”, I will repeat to my self over and over again. A smile slowly forming after the second shot is fried. My now dead body falls back into my chair. The warmth of life leaves me as quickly as my blood pours on to the floor and kids panic. Students scream and cry. They beg for the gunman to spare them hoping their faith will not turn into a bloodbath like mine. Students will be lost in thought scared what the gunman will do next. My lifeless body sinks lower in my chair. The girl in the desk behind me is now covered in blood. Her shoes she worked so hard to clean that morning stained with blood. She will never be the same again. She wouldn’t make it. We both know that. Her face screams but her mouth doesn’t open. Tears fall down her face as the gun man looks at her. She nods her head no one last time. They will take her away. They love people like her. Another student, sits in shock. He hides in the back of the class. he is frozen. He is a Marin but he’s never seen something so cold and dark. The gunman still stands in the front of the class. He is now realizing what he has did. A tear falls down his cheek. He knows it’s to late. We all know it’s too late. So what’s the point? What was the point of all this?

The next day the news will go crazy, “Another tragic school shooting. Gunman shoots almost 56 students and faculty members before shooting himself. Killing himself along with all 33 kids and leaving 23 injured.” What is to come of us?

- April 16, 2007 Blacksburg, Virginia

Rest in peace to this who lost their lives in the school shooting of April 16. I wish good fortune on their families. I’m truly sorry for anyone who has to go through that experience. That’s nothing no one should ever have to go through.

And I’m also sorry if you understand the feeling of wanting to die. I know it probably won’t mean much to you but I understand and it will get better. You will survive what ever you’re going through. What ever you’re going through right now is just a test.

If you feel like you are going to do something to hurt yourself or anyone else, talk to someone. There are so many hotlines you can call to get help. My instagram is l301b0m and e-mail is Megotproblems@gmail.com. You don’t have to go through it alone. I’m always ready to listen away time. I know it’s scary. And it’s not going to be easy but you got this. I believe in you with all my heart and soul.